Needs?

The talks

the chat

the gossip

the smiles

I miss them all

with you 

my dear friend

The fights

the drives

the movies

the food

I want it all

to revive

and last

The gifts

the cards

the calls

the mails

I wish for it all

to come back

for all

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© 2014 Life Begins. Please DO NOT COPY.

Laughing crying and doing crazy things

Yes that was what I am sure each one of us remembers when we think of those friendships from school and college times.

It was pure bliss....laugh your heart out....cry like never before and do such crazy things that even your mind cannot get a second chance to think what you are upto.
Such was the purity of things we did in those blissful days.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

O I long to laugh out loud
And cry my heart out
But those lips dont curve in right direction
and those eyes have just given up

O I long to talk and talk and talk
And heartily scream and shout
But those words dont come out any more
and that heart does not dare

O I long to sit and listen to you
And nod with smiles bursting out
But these ears have forgotten peaceful conversations
and this head is lost in emptiness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© 2011 Life Begins. Please DO NOT COPY.

If you are interested in more poetry here - here is the link

7-Days to positivity - Day 4

A litte bit late posting for day 4 but so what.....what matters  is that i feel happy about something and feel better :)

Here goes today's dosage.

1. Got up early to finish some household work so I can have a relaxed day later on. Yes it felt great.
2. Finished some long pending cleaning tasks...it's the most wonderful feeling of the day. I have been quite stressed about all the pending work ..there is still lots left yet as long as its moving ..i am more than glad.
3. Did finger painting with my little girl. Can't tell how great it felt. Enjoyed it thoroughly.
4. Watched a movie, painted nails in new design :) Loving it. This is third design in 3 weeks. I plan to change every week. I absolutely love it.
5. 
   Had dal-rice with mango pickle for dinner tonight. Its a bliss. Nothing compares to that.
What a lovely day!!

7-days to positivity - DAY 3

Today is one of theose days when you go through extremes of moods. At some point you feel happiest of
all and then in couple of hours you feel competely opposite.

Today is one such day. The day started with me feeling very low but then got so happy and then again bit low. Thats the cycle of life.  The key is to keep holding on to that moment of happiness and admire it at the time when things don't go the way we think is right.

My positive moments of the day are :

1. That 10 min nap in the metro this morning. It gave me more relief than the whole night sleep  :)
   
   
2. Listening to that absolutely awesome music which my darling friend gave to me as a gift.
   
   
3. I felt so so so lucky and fortunate to have a really great friend here.
   
   
4. I am so happy it's friday today. i am looking forward to so many things - being with my little girl, watching some movie, sleeping and just being home
   
   
5. I am so glad that i can sew and also have one sewing machine. I like sewing. And i loved it how I made short kurtis/tops out of long indian suits i had which i were not wearing anymore :) I converted one long shirt to top last night too. 

I definetely feel better after going through this process of remembering all things which give true happiness.

What about your day?

7-days to positivity - DAY 2

Oh its GREAT! Life is great. you are great. I am great. Day is great. Place is great. I am happy :) and smiing. Isn't that infectious. Are you smiling as yet?
Ok that was like a spoonful of  positivity syrup. Doesn't it make us feel good. A spoon full gives such relief to our sore soul. We  stop coughing. We are able to get that sleep we have been missing.

This dosage of  positivity syrup helps us realise its all much smoother than we thought.
Here is my spoonful of positivity for the day. And I am feeling absolutely awesome :)

1. A very dear friend of mine asked me for my opinion about a very important decision of his life. I felt great and thankful for being so important in someone's life and that my views actually mattered so much.
   
2. I could actually motivate a friend and make her feel great about something she and her partner are going to buy soon. She was not at all excited about it and tought it was a wastage unless we focussed on the bright side of it and allthe benifits. They surely did surpass the negatives :) And she is all looking forward to it now.
   I felt great that I could add to positivity in her life.
   
3. I was sooo happy when inspite of running so late in the morning and leaving home too late to catch the metro - i managed to run fast enough and catch it :)
   
4. I am happy that i can actually finish more than 2 jugs full of water in a day. I have been drinking too less..sometimes just one glass whole day.
   
5. I so enjoyed that fruit flavored water this morning. Isn't it awesome how many types of "water" we get these days:) Though the traditional plain simple cool water wins over hands-down.

Ok that  was generous serving of  the syrup for the day.

Smile and Think positive!

7-days to positivity

Preeti mentioned this wonderful way of adding some positivity in life. We always focus on all negative things happening around. Mind always takes us to whatever is not right. First thoughts about anything out of normal routine bring all negatives possible. We look up and see clouds only and totally miss that ray of light and that sun shining somewhere behind. And when it shines brightly, we look up and see the scorching heat rays only and pay no attention to the life flourishing around with that heat and shine.

So to remind myself of all that we usually miss out and be thankful for tiny smiles, i am taking up this 7-day challenge. For 7 days now i am going to smile and feel good about everything that goes unnoticed but can actually be uplifting. Afterall what matters in the end is the happiness we felt and smiles we shared in this journey called life.

Here goes my list for today -

1. I am happy to get that email from my sis early morning as my open my inbox.
2. Enjoyed lovely sushi for lunch with 2 friends. 
3. Was happy to have left that extra pair of sandals at work yesterday. I could wear them today after my feet got sore in high heels :)
4. I felt grateful for feeling full with having only half the quantity of food I usually eat. ( Someone trying to loose weight can understand that pleasure)
5. I am thankful for that extra time in the morning because of which i could alter my new pair of triusers and wear them today :) ( How cool is that)

WOW...am feeling all charged up

GO..think again and be happy :)

Vacation is over...

A friend asked - "How is it going after the vacation?"

I had quick and short reply -

"Loads of work for extremely sleepy me.A breath-taking (meaning literally) messy house. Piles of washing and tons of ironing(all in to-be-done category till noone knows when)"


I have set priorities .... It starts with

Image Courtesy :http://www.toonpool.com/cartoons/Heavy%20Sleep_19796

Missing it all ( Day 26)

One full week of being with my kid who' s down with chicken pox. I don't remember when was the last time i stayed indoors for over a week - not stepping out even once ( ok the back garden of the house does not count as outdoors - right?)

I felt fine so far. But now i think its catching up. I have started to feel different being inside for days on.

There are many things I have started to miss...

• I have started to miss that coffee i take every morning at train station after I have finished 1/3 of my commute ( My commute time to work is 1 hr 45 min one way :) )
  

• I have started to miss reading books in the train ( And that is the only time i get to read something)
  

• I have started to miss reading "metro" newspaper in metro ( only way i practice dutch and get to know whats happening in the country)
  

• I have started to miss seeing those passengers either bidding byes or meeting their loved ones after vacations and those tourists taking pictures at the airport. ( I change my train at station at the airport)

• I have started to miss exchanging smiles with those commuters i have been seeing for around 3 years now.
  

• I have started to miss that 10 min walk from the bus station to the office and the window shopping I did during that walk while walking through the shopping mall. ( ok ok...i accept i am missing window shopping more :) )

I never realised I would miss so much when I have actually been complaining about all this long commute and wishing I could get some respite from all this.

Now I am looking forward to going back to work  - ahmm...to so many thing - on coming monday.

The rest of our life... (Day 24)

Life is all about ups and downs-sometimes it makes u feel the happiest and the greatest in the world and next moment u feel like the most unfortunate one on earth.

It's all about balance And there is the need for a proper balance in everything in life..Just everything...

I always wondered why am i the one always picked up for all the bad happenings in life until I started paying more attention to the good-happy moments too.And i realised that at those rejoicing moments i actually get the maximum possible happiness...It might not last like that forever but the traces stay on. Learn to count those moments rather than the ones which cause pain and break u into pieces...

Faith is the strongest power. Keep the faith and u would win over every situation.

It is not about having lots of friends or a lover or a partner to be there by your side throughout that roller coaster ride that u are on...It's about holding tight to that seat and not letting yourself fall off. You need that inner strength- strength to keep holding on to your beliefs and faith and to the hope that u would soon come out of it safely and smiling.

It's on us to decide what kind of life we want to have - an average one where people will have to spend sometime to remember who we were or the one that would bring smiles on faces at our mere mention. And this all is possile with how much smiles we spread in our life. How much smiles we spread around depends on how much we believe in ourself and rejoice in every single moment.

There are reasons to smile all around us....a child's smile, a beautiful sun or a cloud with a silver line, some giggle, colorful flowers, raindrops, those busy streets with people laughing, shops full of things we love, that sale somewhere on our favorite store, that new favorite food restaurant just around the corner, a phone call from home, an email from friend, favorite player scoring a goal in soccer, weekend after every few days :), those flights to book for vacation, that countdown to visiting home.

Look around and you will have many reasons to smile and be happy !!

Career confusion (Day 18)

What is the way to find out what one actually wants to do in life. Aren't there so many factors behind that liking. I am unable to understand how some people know exactly what tgey want to do inlife. May be i am lacking in some really important quality. Can it be called strong decision making so as to decide on one, give it your best and stick to it. Or is it open- mindedness OR straight forward nature OR extrovert OR anything of that sort. I dont know what it is.

I am working for a decade now and still i feel confused about what i actually want to do in my life. Of course such thoughts come and go in phases. But then if they keep coming back, i keep thinking about it. Sometimes my brain works overtime and i get loads of ideas about what i want to do and each one sounds more exciting than the other.

Sometimes the artist in me wakes up and i want to take up designing as profession. Then i want to become a photographer. Other times i feel like becoming a full time house wife. Again there are times when i want to design and stitch clothes. I also have a strong urge sometimes to do interior house arrangements. (is there anyone more confused than me?)

all this confusion brings me back to continue being a software professional. Perhaps the safest of all considering that's what am doing for a decade.

It's so unfair to live a proffesionally confusing mind :) (is there anything like that?)

perhaps its once again just a phaae and will be over soon.

Sunday (Day 6)

Preeti - you said it and i did it :). Thanks for the idea !

Yes, it's Sunday, it's raining and dear husband said he wants to have pakoras.
After a long time..perhaps 7 months i made pakoras today - just potato and onion pakoras and` With a big mug of coffee - it was perfect sunday afternoon.

Tiny 'MIRACULOUS' gestures (Day 4)

How tiny gestures make our day.How small actions make kids so happy.


My 2.5 yrs old daughter comes running to me saying "mumma - aau..it hurts" After asking where, i just give her a kiss at the spot pointed by her and she feels perfectly fine. (In today's case it was on her cheek only :)) Many a times a kiss has worked wonders in some serious situations also. Like when she fell down once and had a bad bruise on her arm - i gave her couple of kisses there and she felt alright - running around again with same zeal and enthusiasm.


Similar way, when i reach back home after work i am welcomed with a shy smile and a tight hug. All my tiredness and day's frustrations vanish in a split second. What amazing wonders such small actions can make - i get amazed every single day!

It's so sad that such tiny gestures become such an obligation as we grow. Saying a hello and passing a smile also become big things as grown ups.


One thing which plesantly surprised me here in Netherlands was people greeting every passer-by. It feels so good when someone passes by you and just says a hello with a broad smile.You feel certain unsaid connection. Streets no longer feel alien.

But in last 5 years(that's how long i have been here) i have seen a drastic change in this aspect of social behavior. People no longer greet as openly as earlier esp in slightly bigger cities. And ofcourse the blame goes to foreigners.


Nevertheless, there are many other small acts of kindness that melt your heart. A bunch of flowers to thank your neighbour for some small help, a cake to share with the colleagues just because its sunny outside, inviting someone over for coffee just like that(when i say coffee it means coffee only - no cakes n cookies or other snacks involved - yes thats how it can be here), a congratulations card in a neighbours letterbox for new born baby or for passing an exam or for getting a driving license - there can be any or no reason. But any action like surely makes your day and gives you reaons to smile for days to come.


Go,show some nice tiny gesture and make someone's day !!

Image courtesy: http://www.raisingafamily.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/thank_you_note.png 

I am my world

Strange world
Even stranger is the tale

And then mind thought
‘m also
a part of this game

I am my world
I am my own strange world

Face smiled
Heart accepted

And here in this heart
Resides my world

This heart made the tale
The Tale with smiles
The Tale with tears
The Tale which goes on
The Tale which is coaxing us all
And this is the Tale …
making this world…

Journey goes on...

Train went on…
Distances covered…
Destinations reached…
People came
People left
I kept waiting for my destination
And then I heard the announcement
“This is the final destination, please get down here.”

But my destination was not there

I got down and took another train
Train went on…
Distances covered…
Destinations reached…
And I kept moving on along with it
In search of
A destination.
And the journey is still going on…

Please do not copy. Ask before using it.

Thoughts

Zindagi mein itna kuch hoga

Socha na tha

Sochti kaise

Tab zindagi hee na thi

Pal, din, mahine, saal karke

Zindagi chalti gayi

Aansoon, khushi aur kabhi khushi ke aansoon

Maine sochna shuru kiya

Tab tak zindagi aur aage nikal gayi.

----------------------------------------------

Here is the translation - which i loved even more than the hindi version...

Life will have so much

I never knew

How would I have known

I didn’t have life then

Moment, day, month, year

Life went on and on

Tears, happiness and tears of happiness

I started wondering

And life moved on by then

Please do not copy. Ask before using it.

Trying a come-back :)

Its been rteally long since i wrote anything anywhere except for the code i have to write every single day.

So i thought let me atleast make a come back post to begin with and announce my return to blogosphere :)

No doubt its spring which induced in me the feeling to do more than just daily routine work. Isn't it amazing how much weather affects our mood. It has been beautiful and sunny for few days now and its so uplifting for the soul. Though i just cannot call it warm as of now. Its pretty windy and cold. Temperatures are moving around lowest double digits. But am not complaining at all - as long asi t's sunny and beautiful to look at - i am loving it :)
Here is as best as i could describe it :)

Colors all around
flowers that surround
sun over the head
winds that i dread

yet so serene
peaceful and clean
so refreshing for soul
filling some gap some hole

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff!!

A friend of mine sent this link to me yesterday and I felt I must share it further. A war has been going on in my mind for sometime now - The war between home and work. And I am at loss thinking how to prioritise. I feel guilty from both sides. So many times I feel such a loser for not being able to handle even one side well. But then all these are phases and the thought that most working moms go through this - adds to my comfort. So I am not the only one. I am not the only confused mom. I am not the only mom who is living with this ongoing struggle.

Well - the following article helped me. It gave me a feeling of comfort. It convinced me that I should choose what matters to me the most. I should be the one to decide not the surroundings. I should do as I wish to and not bother about the world. Decide on what matters to me the most. Life is not an Emergency Room. I should learn to differentiate between Urgent things, Important Things and Urgent-Important things.

It's a small article but left an impact in it's own way - atleast a lot on me.

Read on ...

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff!

Article courtesy - http://www.extensor.co.uk

Trauma of First Degree!!

After my retail therapy yesterday - i was all excited and also as it was slightly cold I decided to wear my new jacket on my way back home . Ok so i took out tags from all the clothes i had bought, put them in one smaller bag and wore the new jacket and set out for bus stop. I met a collague in the elevator - we talked and walked in our own directions after byes and good evening wishes. Little did i knew at that time how the coming evening was going to be. I walked to the bus stop, stood there waiting for the bus. Secretely i was trying to look at my reflection in the glass sides of the bus stop to see how i was looking in my new jacket and as i turned........

The guy standing there asked me a question - "Is your jacket new?" My heart skipped few beats - i was confused and thinking is it so nice and looking so new? Or Did he see me admiring it in the reflection in the glass sides? Or is there something wrong with it? Inspite of all these million questions popping up in my mind - i replied in most calm and composed way - " Yes - it is."

And guess what - He replied - " There is a price tag hanging there - you forgot to take it off"

OH MY GOD !! I wished I could vanish somehow. I am sure i would have turned red in embarrassment. Not only had it a tag hanging but it also revealed that i bought it in sale at a very low price. Regaining my composure and pulling out the tag instantly I replied in a split second - "Oh - Thank you. I was feeling cold, so I just bought it." (Ahh..that sounded like a relief to me and convincing reply to him) So he just said "Oh - I see " and turned away.

Oh I could not stand there. I felt glances of everyone around fixed on me. But I maintained my looks of not even giving a damn thought about it. Inside me were more doubts and restlessness growing up. I started to feel there were more tags hanging and I am still standing with them on. I wished I could take off the jacket and check it thoroughly. But my external gestures were so convincing about me not bothering about it at all that I felt weird taking off the jacket and checking it for more tags.

And as if I hadn't had enough - the bus was late. I had to stand and pretend absolutely normal for next 10 minutes(believe me it felt like 10 hours). But when the bus came, i took it and guess what - Got down at the next stop. I waited for that bus to go away. Took out my jacket and scrutinized it like it might have hidden jewels inside hidden pockets. Only after 10 minutes of detailed study - i was convinced and put it back.

Because of this trauma of hanging tags - i not only missed my next bus but train too. So it took me long time to reach back home.

And obviously I was really traumatised. This morning when i left home. I got those thoughts back- what if what I am wearing today also has some tag hanging.I kept looking side to side if I could see something. I tried to look at my reflection in the glasses on the metro stop and train window. Every look and stare from anyone around made me think there was some tag hanging somewhere on me.

It's only when i reached office- looked on all sides in the big mirror in the ladies room, I felt relieved.

I hope the trauma is over!!

Therapy - Just like that!

A Retail Therapy as Monika puts it is indeed the best therapy ever :) All these countless therapists should just remember one standard therapy for all ailments.

This therapy helps boost your morale when you are feeling low, it even cheers you up when you are sad, it motivates when you are depressed, it relaxes you when you are stressed and it even balances your state of mind when you are over - excited about something - be it some success, some achievement or anything like that. So basically this therapy befits every state of mind.

Today was one such day for me. I had been feeling stressed out for few days now. But since yesterday i am feeling elated for no reason in particular. I listened to music all through my way home yesterday evening. I went home and even before I could think of dinner - i danced with my little girl. I sounded all chirpy and joyful. I could feel it myself too. But I could not make out the reason and i didn't bother either. I finished some long pending household work like drying 2 lots of wash lying there for 2 days, altering few of my clothes by hand sewing, clearing up mess in the bedroom, some face care, potty training for Prisha. I spent some good time with my dolly. I even managed to watch some TV and also sleep on time. All these things on the same evening has been sounding impossible to me till now. (Imagine all this done between 7:30 and 11 PM and this includes preparing dinner and having it too)

Now the simple doubt arising can be - how does retail therapy fit in here? ( As i didn't mention any done yesterday)

I was happy for no reason yesterday and it continued today. So out of that continued joy and happiness and excitement I went out at lunch time and just popped into a store to look if there was something new. Unconsciously I knew I am going there to come out with something new.

And obviously no prizes for any guesses now - I did come out with huge bag full :) WOW - what a feeling I had!! I was walking back to office all content with my new possessions - smiling wide and lost in my own thoughts ( I am sure people on the way must have declared me some kind of nut)

I came back and felt all energetic to start my work full gear. Inbetween I glanced inside the bags few times - smiled and got back to work. And out of this joy - I opened notepad and started writing this post ( Now that might not be good result of the therapy - as now my work is again sidelined) Yet its good because finally there would be some action on my blog.

So Ladies and Gentlemen - Go ahead - Indulge in some Retail Therapy today - Just Like that !!

Uhh...killer

This is absolutely irritating.

(Ok...i write only when something starts bugging me a lot - so this place is mainly meant for rants and complaints and irritations - Writing here is my way of letting out all that)

How do people learn the art of getting things done their own way only and yet they are the ones who complain non-stop about how they have to agree to everyone and have no say in what they do. Whereas actually the truth is that very subtlely and calmly just put across what they want and usually their style gets them that. The things can be small but what-the-heck , they get it done their own way. Once you give an opposite view or try to reject that - there goes the subtle-pushing-tactic. I hate it. I hate to deal with such situation. And at other occasion they would want just like you have been asking a day before and again they want it their way. it's so damn annoying. And its a killer if that person is a close friend of you. It upsets you but yet to dont say as word as a respect for "YOUR" friend. But i am sure they don't think the same. (Else I could have noticed some change few times atleast) May be its my fault. I being a good freind should have told her about this annoying habit and given a chance to realise and perhaps improve. But what a pain???? Why should I be the one to first go through that irritating moment of silent acceptance and then gain all the more irritation back for pointing it out. Uhh...I hate it. Again i hate it. (Does writing it over and over again lessen it in anyway??? )