Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Friends as foes - CSAAM April 2012

Scene 1 : visiting friend's place for a get-together .. Ofcourse with family...kid in tow. "Friends" are well known. They dont meet everyday but still often enough and gladly. Kids also have company which makes it easier and comfortable.

Scene 2 : Adults chit-chat while kids play. All have food togther. Kids as usual throw some tantrums during dinner. So the host offers to feed guest's child too. He makes the little girl sit in his lap while he feeds her. Little girl tries to run away after a while but everyone pushes her to sit there and eat - ofcourse the whole focus being food. 

Scene 3 : all kids are told to go upstairs and play in kid's room there. The host escorts all kids up and carries that little girl while climbing stairs. The girl screams and does not want to be carried but everyone ignores. Afterall kids throw tantrums all the time. She is scolded and asked to be quiet and go upstairs with "uncle". 

Scene 4 : few hours have passed. Kids still upstairs - playing  The host has made few rounds to see if all is well up there and on every round picked or comforted little girl just generally asking if everything is fine. 

Scene 5 : Its time to call it a day. Shoes have been put on. Bye-byes being said.  Hugs & kisses shared. The host picks up little girl and hugs her tight. Also passes few kisses on her cheek. In return he asks her to give him a kiss too - "give me a kisss - a big juicy kiss"  The little girl has been struggling to get off from him. Refusing to say even a bye.  Parents of the little girl get little taken aback fir a split second by the "juicy kiss" request but ignore it. 

Day over and all back to their own usual lives.  


Now who ever will read this will say oh I would be very vigilant and notice signs right from beginning. And that those parents were stupid to not do anything.  But in reality how many of us notice this and act on it. Our friends carrying our kids or helping our kids with things is all normal. We cannot go around doubting every person we meet esp close friends whom we meet so often. 

The idea is to keep your antennas working overtime. Notice every action. Don't ignore your child's reactions. Facts and figures show its mostly these close friends only who turn out to be our foes. 

Listen and try to give atleast second thought to your child's refusal to be carried or pampered by someone else even if its  family member. Respect child's decision ofcourse after analysing the situation and demand. 

Enemies  disguised as friends could scar & hurt a tiny life forever right infront of your eyes. Be alert, be open, be strong to deal with the situation. Don't be afraid of being judged. If a friend does not honour your child's safety as foremost, he/she is not a true friend. 

Together we can fight & create a safe future for our children. Let's join hands!



  1. Thanks for your post. It helps to not force any child to show physical affection (kiss, hug, even shaking hands) until they are old enough to articulate their feelings and explain why they don't want to be affectionate with certain people.

  2. Good post, too many people don't pay enough attention.


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