Friday, May 29, 2009

Of this and that

Everyday while I am at work, i get an urge to write and post something. Something happens or I do something which sounds like perfect and apt to be written down about. I kind of make the whole write up in my mind too. So everyday I almost know what to write. But it's kind of tough to blog while at work. I quickly read some posts and try to leave a comment whenever possible. So it's not blocked or anything but just that it does not sound appropriate to be blogging at work. Also work is so busy for few days now that i hardly get any time to do so even if "it being appropriate or not" was not the point.
Well now as anyone would simply say - "then why don't you do it at home?"
I wouldn't like to go into the same old series of cribbing about household work, baby, travel etc etc etc OR how I am already a super woman juggling so many things. I would not blame it all on any of those. The truth is I do am able to take out time to sit and net surf and read some blogs. So ofcourse I can take out time to write too. And I do so too. But the problem is - as soon I sit down to write..nothing comes to mind, I am suddenly lost of words. Everything that comes to mind sounds either stupid or has faded away as a split second thought.No ideas flow, no words take shape - i find it all quite strange.
I sit there wondering - how thoughts and ideas take shape in our mind and vanish if we don't capture them in some other concrete form right then and there. That reminds me of childhood days and all the big dreams we had. How everything seemed so different then. How it all felt so achievable. The plans seemed to fall perfectly in place. But as we grew - it all started to fade away and conditions crept in slowly. The whole plan seemed such a misfit. The right actions ( as least we thought they were right) sounded so not-right. We were clueless. The dreams were no longer as they used to be. Childhood dreams started sounding stupid. No idea made any more sense. No new ideas come up when we actually sit down to think and ponder.
How dreams take different shapes as we grow. How it all sounds so perfect once and totally absurd next time you think over it. How our mind plays such games. How we convince ourselves against our very own best idea. How conditions and situations influence our thoughts so much. How we try to fit our dreams in the most comfortable and available situations. The innocent and straight-from-heart ideas have no place in this grown up world. Unconsciously our mind thinks only on the lines of how the world would take it as.
The similar happened to my blog. My sole intention was to put in words what goes on in my mind - notice MY Mind!! But gradually i realised my posts were getting influenced by the readers. And it wasn't a conscious move. It just happened. I noticed it when i saw myself using words like - You, the readers, the guests here, etc etc etc. This is how environment moulds our thougts. There is no right or wrong here. Writing as conversation or just as a let-out is equally good. Its just the feeling. The amazing part is only that there is something that secretly slides in our mind cells and gives all that comes out from there a new shape.

PS: I know this post has some weird flow. Please bear with me. I just wrote what came up.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

What can make one feel so ...!!

What a wonderful feeling :)

Can anyone guess why? I think most fellow females would give a correct answer to it. They know what can make a women feel so good :)

Yes...YOU ARE RIGHT (even if you were not - don't worry...I know you would surely agree once you know the answer. If not, i understand there can be more things in life to make you feel good)

We have this Organization Development kind of site here in our company where every employees' details and career plan are added. And this is supposedly a very useful tool for tracking your own personal career growth. Ok so our internal communications department felt it was quite important to have everyone's picture there so as to provide visibility and recognition. (Though i know this is one more tactic to get more people to login to that site - if not for their own career plan - atleast for looking at other faces TEEHEE)

Ok so official plan was made for this. Days were finalised. Everyone got a time slot. (Are you still guessing - for what?? )Well...for photo shoot. Yes...some apparently famous professional photographer was brought in to take portrait photos of us. my time slot was today. We were just advised to dress up business like atleast from waist up ..hehe ( Imagine...some street Bermudas below and a Dolce-Gabbana Jacket on top) Ok ok. So I tried to dress up well for today. (No Dolce-Gabbana or Christian Dior outfit - mind you) Just plain simple dress which falls under formal daily office wear. So at my time slot, I touch up bit of makeup...brush my hair and go to the allocated room. And - surprise surprise. I see there a huge table well arranged with all kinds of brushes, concealers, maskaras, foundations, lip gloss etc etc etc etc. I know you all can add to the list. There was a huge mirror with lights all around it. A well dressed make-up girl welcomed me there and escorted me to the elite chair :) (NOW....are you able to understand the reason - many of you who didnt agree earlier would surely be saying BIG YES now ) Ok So i sit there looking at all that "make-up stuff" amazingly meanwhile trying to put up a face as if I am a regular at getting such treatments - you know those celebrities kinds. For once i wondered - O God..i already have make up on - Now this girl is going to apply two more inches of it so as to make me look 2 inches fatter than what i already am. So I try to do small talk in between to take away my thougts and sound normal. She takes number of things one after the other...applies them on my face, eyes, lips... She tries to look from all angles If its looking perfect..then some more touching here and there...some more blush on may be...hmm...little darker lipgloss would be better. ok some touch up on hair...umm do i need some straightening or may be little curls would look nice...ok done..perfect...(I tell you this is all so damn good - you sitting there and kind of lost in your own thoughts while someone is treating you like a celebrity) As she says done - i can't stop smiling wide and trying hard to control that so as to not look stupid.

There comes the cameraman with an equally warm smile and loads of compliments for me. He explains me where I need to sit and where and how much to turn my head, where to look, how much to smile(HEHEHE..i was almost grinning once) He arranged my hair a bit and *CLICK* more *CLICK*. Perfect!!

It was all such a great feeling.

So now you all know what can make a woman feel so good :)

Friday, May 1, 2009

Family Tree

I am feeling quite angry and embarrassed with myself today....guess what..

I was filling some form for work and i had to answer to some secret questions for hints just in case i forget things like password etc. You knwo those hint questions in email accounts which help to retrieve forgotten passwords. Ok so there was a question - "What is the name of your maternal grandmom" And can you believe it - I j-u-s-t c-o-u-l-d n-o-t r-e-m-e-m-b-e-r :( I tried hard to...but the name would just not come to my mind. I could only remember what we used to call her - Badi Mummy. I felt so bad. Ok so i went through the list of other questions available which I could use there instead of that one. And Guess what - most questions there were about names of grand parents. I couldn't have felt more shameful. So I thought of writing down all names here and have a family tree - just for rememberance sake.