Friday, April 22, 2011

Let's take the oath

Most of us already know about CSAAM April 2011 drive going on in blogosphere, twitter world and on Facebook . All the action and contribution- survivor stories, therapists views, legal aspects have been remarkable. (I also posted on this here.)

After going through heart-breaking stories everyday, i realised how much pain is there in every heart. On the face of it the whole world seems like smiling while we crib non-stop about our everyday problems. All this has made me realise how much every tiny gesture of true love and care mean. How difficult is to have that someone in life who can be there not only in smiles and joy but also in sorrows and pain. Someone who would understand and not judge. Someone who will support and not shrug. Someone who will understand the unspoken words.

CSAAM - the month long initiative by blogger friends has added a new dimension to the thinking. We live in the denial world unconsiously repeating in our minds - "This cannot happen to us". All different perspectives on this subject have been very awakening. Honeslty, how many of us bother to go and find out the legal aspects of anything.The whole intitiative has given hope to many and helped heal up. For some - to be thankful for having got the support and love of that "someone" and for others for getting over that what that another  "someone" did to them.

Speak up, Talk, Discuss, get professional help, provide space and biggest of all "LISTEN" and listen with support. - All these have been the keywords this month. A gentle reminder to ourselves every now and then about this is what we need. We need to be aware and prepared ourselves to listen and provide the right advise and support. Be well-informed yourself first so you can give the right information to your kids. React sensibly to anything your kid talks to you about. It might start as a simple incident from kids' day but might mean a lot. Like us adults, kids also first try to develop a comfort zone before they can let out the actual inquisitiveness or fear. Again - LISTEN and react accordingly. Ignoring something small as just another incident from school/daycare might have dire consequences. Be Aware, pay attention!! Nothing is worth ignoring.

It's an ongoing and lifelong effort and goes on beyond this month - Let's pledge to make this world a safer place for oursleves, for our kids and for all future generations!!

Once again - as I already wrote here

It's time we take oath
That noone can loath
Every child will grow up safe
Lets give them this faith!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Today Happiness to me is

Long time back i read a list like this somewhere (sorry cannot recall where). I felt so charged up after that that i felt I should do it myself someday. And believe me writing down these 10 things which  bring such happiness; was a great experience in itself. But note that this does not mean these are the only reaons to be happy in life. Life has much more in store only we need to stop and take the moment to pay attention. There can't be just 10 points to make up for all the happiness we witness everyday. If only we can make this a regular habit to ponder what happiness means to us, there will be smiles all around.

This is the reason the heading for this post says "Today Happiness to me is". I might have a totally different list tomorrow if i sit down again to write. (But that does not mean these reasons will not give me happiness anymore) This will stay and more will be added and the reasons to be happy will only be more and more.  

Happiness is…

A shy reaction plus a hug from the little angel in my life as soon as I enter home

Happiness is…

bright shiny sun later in the evening with time to sit on the newly owned swing in the garden.

Happiness is…

Longing to eat spinach, when one day I reach home after  work wondering what to cook for dinner– there is a lovely dinner ready to be eaten and the main dish is spinach exactly the way I love.

Happiness is…

Running late from home just to find out the train I wanted to catch is also delayed just enough for me to be in time for all further connections. ( Believe me it’s the best thing that can happen in the morning rush hour considering it takes me 1hr 45 min to travel to work)

Happiness is…

Getting a phone call from someone from home ( for me it will always be India) just when I am feeling depressed and low

Happiness is…

Waking up half an hour earlier than the alarm clock and feel all fresh and ready to start the new day(If i continue to sleep that half hours it feels like a bonus)

Happiness is…

Getting on the weighing scales after weeks dreading a huge weight gain esp after having done lot of binge eating and see the weight has actually fallen down

Happiness is…

Trying to fix a problem for whole week and not getting anywhere. And when its 5 minutes to leave on Friday evening – something you do suddenly works and solves not only that one issue but multiple issues (win win win)

Happiness is…

switching on the TV after days and see that your favourite movie is being played.

Happiness is…

Getting hold of the book you have been longing to read plus being able to take the time to read it the same day.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

CSAAM - It's only the Beginning!!

A touch here and a touch there...
Who knows its affecting where
Tiny brain tries to make sense
the adult brain makes it tense
Little soul senses trouble
Tries to run away from the fumble
Something haunts day and night
Noone knows that there is no light
Deep inside the darkness grows
Kills desires ...only pain flows
Mind tries to move on
Pain n guilt keeps tagging along

Life goes on...
And along grows the refusal to go on
World’s unaware and noone notices change
Making it all even more strange
Confidence vanishes
And dreams get crushed

Years pass by...
thoughts don’t give way
Hiding behind
Was all one could say
O a simple wish...
wish that someone would come one day
And understand it all the unsaid way

Take away that agony
Take away that pain
Give me my childhood
So I can grow up again

Come stand up
Come join in
We still have time
Together we can chime

Its time we take oath
That noone can loath
Every child will grow up safe
Lets give them this faith!!
© 2011 Life Begins. Please DO NOT COPY.

CSA – something the majority of us have experienced as much by known and as by strangers. A topic much suppressed by family. Afterall who wants to face the shame and guilt that it will bring to the family. In this whole shame-avoiding scene The family forgets about the shame and guilt that gets embossed in the child’s life.

How much impact an ignorable incident can have on one’s life is immeasurable. The Fear experienced can manifest itself in anxiety, panic, depression and insomnia. This is accompanied by feelings of powerlessness, insecurity, worthlessness and loneliness. Children often remain silent about sexual abuse. They feel ashamed, feel guilty or fear the perpetrator and think it will be more difficult for themselves when the abuse comes out.

After going through so many posts this month – we do not need any further proof of how deep a so-called minor and “sshhh….ed” incident can have on an innocent mind. It is a mutual responsibility of us parents and grownups to stop and punish anyone who tries to invade the territory of innocence.

I have been reading a lot on internet and came across wonderful and simple information on “From Darkness to Light”

A matter of 7 steps - 7 Steps to Protecting Our Children

And it was so apty said - The 7 Steps is Only the Beginning!!

Another very important aspect in this hi-tech era is to protect our kids in digital world. CSA is not just physical abuse – it includes all the porn some perverts try to introduce to youngsters.
Here is another good source on …

5 Tips to Protect Your Children in the Digital Age

All this has been said and emphasizes many times this month. But the idea is to generate as much awareness as we can. We need to stand up and take the right steps well in time. The healing will happen in the whole process along with confidence getting stronger. Our kids need us! And we need our kids – safe and happy!!

Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month

Go Visit - Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month - April 2011