Monday, September 17, 2018


Random things affect our thought process unconsciously. I have realized that when we are going through certain phase in life, we somehow start relating everything we see, read, watch to our situation. We see bits of pieces of it in everything. And how a simple movie can cause a havoc in your life. Because you start relating it. Before I saw more - As an after-thought it had nothing at all that i can relate to. But at that moment it made me restless & anxious. The pace of the movie made me uncomfortable. The storyline made me restless. That sounds & voices in it made me too anxious. It took me 2-3 days to get over that. If you ask me why - i have no answer to that. I find no reason to feel so or relate to that at all. I did like the movie after all. But watching it was - well, you know what!!

Similar thing happens while reading as well. Ofcourse not all the time. But sometimes.
Does it happen to you too?

Considering am writing about this 5 days after watching it shows, I still haven't gotten over that. And that is making me more uncomfortable. I watched other movies since then but strangely enough i can't even recall their names. Weird! Like often!

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Reminder to self

You don’t feel like getting up. You don’t feel like taking shower. You start getting pains in shoulder, back and head. You lie down on couch for hours. Doing nothing. And you tell yourself- “oh you can do this sometimes, its Ok to do nothing sometimes.”
But then this becomes normal and repeated feeling.  And suddenly one day you start recognizing this. A feeling of deja-vu! This has happened before.
You pick up the signs.  Do you want to go back to the same place again? The dark lonely place. The place which keeps dragging you down and puts the blame on physical issues like pains and aches. The place where tears roll down without warning. The place where outsiders are not allowed. The place which only keeps getting darker. 

No no no no!
You remind yourself of that phase. You cannot go back to that. Noone would be able to bring you back if you go there again. You do not even have those saviors around anymore.  A lot of realization comes along with this thought.  Get up. Keep going. Don’t give power to that darkness to pull you down. 

~A reminder for self in times like this.