Monday, February 25, 2013

Yes - I am disappointed and hurt

Past few weeks have been bit of a shocker, bit of disappointment, bit of sadness, bit of reality checks.

(Is that enough to explain my absense from blog world?)

Well - the sad phase started with my daughter falling ill and ofcourse me catching it there on. No idea what kind of virus it was this time that it took over 2 weeks for me to start feeling better. Besides terrible cough, running nose it was high fever and complete drain of energy. And after 3 weeks i am still coughing.

But thats not what bothered me as much.

Its the reality checks about people i know. I have already been in "O I have no friends" mood for few months now and to top it all came such shocks that i am not even sure how i want to react now. Friends (atleast i thought so) saying such things at my back that its almost impossible for me to believe they said so. More friends trying to be the well wisher and sweet pal behaving such-a-boss and putting me down at the first instance possible. The know-it-all Friends. The well-wisher friends. The O-I-am-so-rich friends. The O-I-am-the-best friends. And the list goes on...

I am completely disappointed by this relationship called "friendship". Its always their selfish self which takes priority. Its always the money which stays on top. The What-can-you-do-for-me - remains the main agenda.

People trying to prove how stupid others are.

I feel so saddened. I want to move away from all such souls. But I am unable to do so. Some people have too strong a personality to let you move away. I feel caught. I feel trapped.

I might perhaps get over this in sometime or rather get used to it but i will continue to be disappointed. I will continue to feel sad. I will continue to feel cheated. And i will continue to feel the pain of being stabbed in the back.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

One such day

Somedays you just hate everything but there is no way you can express that out loud.

Somedays you are just plain and simple upset with every damn thing in life but you just cannot do anything about it.

Somedays you are angry with everything and everyone but there is no way you can take it out.

Somedays you are frustrated to the brim but nothing just nothing seems to calm that down.

Somedays you just want to cry to scream to get angry to shout but you just cannot.

Today is one such day!!!!!!!

Love or whatever

Love. What is it?

Is it that mush feeling
Or is it making breakfast
Is it saying "i love you" often
Or is it doing the vacuum cleaning

Is it buying lots of gifts
Or is it buying your fav cookies from super market
Is it often calling during the day
Or is it offering to pick you up from work if you ask even once

Is it surprise with flowers
Or is it doing the laundry
Is it to take you out for dinner
Or prepare dinner every night before you reach home from work

Is it to hug and kiss every day
Or is it to let you lie down in bed as long as you want without disturbing you once
Is it to buy expensive things for you
Or is it to never ever complain about messy house

I am confused
What is love?
Do i have it or not?
Have i felt it or not?