Wednesday, October 8, 2008

History Repeats??

I had written this around 2 years ago and the same feelings have crept in again. Who says history doesn't repeat itself - It does - just that it's quite picky in what to repeat and what not.

"Life is not the same ever since I have moved away to NL. There have been ups and downs every next moment... one moment i feel the best in the world and the next moment i have surprises waiting to wake me up to reality and prove once more that i dont deserve to be happy for long...
Sometimes i feel i am too much a cribbing person..i always find a reason to cry over...don't know how much of it is true...

It pains to realise that I am all alone here now...have kind of walked too far from everyone...friends are no more within is far far away... all is left behind somewhere ... i have faint pictures of everyone....just memories to cherish and recall and cry over... somehow everything seems to be moving away... i feel left alone in the middle of a deserted island...witnessing everyone slowly moving spreading my arms for someone to come to hold me tight...

I feel as if I have no friends, no companions...

the moments of long chats, long talks, having lunch together, going out, having coffee together at barista, Nirulas, evening samosas, taking lifts back home with pals, looking forward to every new day to go and see each other ...are all history now...

History that has a rare chance of repetiting itself... :( esp in such cases. It almost makes sure it does not repeat.
I hate to be alone, i hate to be helpless, i hate to think about all the happy moments and not be able to do anything about it ... i hate it all !!!!!!! "


  1. You are not alone.
    The world is so small now. and you have your little darling.
    I know how you are feeling.
    WHy dont u add us all on your gmail chat and we can chat whenever you feel like. My email is on my profile.
    Love you
    and lots of hugs.
    Never say you are alone.

  2. Thank u so much Mampi! I know i have treasured friends like u but sometimes i can't help it when such feeling come on surface. I would add you to chat wud be great to talk. I already feel better thinking about that.

  3. alone?? says who??
    u got a sweet little darling to love...right?
    and also u got blogpals...never say u r alone...
    i second mampi...add us to ur gtalk list...m der anytime if u wanna talk too...

    ps: after 7pm IST...i got a headache from 9am to 7pm everyday except sunday.

  4. I understand what u are going thru... i feel that sometimes being right here in india... I guess its a phase that comes and goes and comes back again...

    I agree with mampi add us to the gtalk... i think i have ur id i will add u right away...

    and then most of all prisha is there na to send ur blues away :)

  5. and forgot to add... lots of virtual hugs to make u feel better

  6. Thank you so much all of you! I am glad to have friends like u. I am sure this phase would be over soon.
    You all take care!

  7. hey!!!

    with such a beautiful bundle of joy how can you be lonely for long??

    We all have such moments of weaknesses, recognise them for what they are, essentially your heart crying out for a bit of 'me' time and do something you love to do, just for yourself, the feeling shall pass.

    as for friends, there are so many in blogland, pick your choice. :)

    You have a lovely cheerful template.

  8. I think you dont 'know' that you are not alone. May be the time to find it out yourself.


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