Trance

HELLO!
Can you hear me?
Am falling...
falling in a trance
unconscious ...
involuntarily
staring in oblivion
at that chaos
numb toes
hypnotic state
dazed mind
calm waters
silent oppression


where spirits start to speak

Memories

Sigh!!!

"Where do memories go when a relationship ends? Sometimes they stay buried in countless hours of chats, archived neatly. Sometimes they are trapped in photos, stored in an external hard-drive. They are scattered in gifts bought, perfumes used and songs you have dedicated to each other. And sometimes they stay deep, deep down within your heart, popping up inconveniently when you least expect them, taking over your very soul, and you live through the destruction yet another time." 

from - "It's All In The Planets" by Preeti Shenoy

No rule book??

There comes a time when nothing sounds right and nothing seems wrong either. No ideas make sense. No amount of preaching sounds convincing enough. No one's opinion adds to any clarity. Your own mind plays games and refuses to sit still. Your heart keeps pushing you all around. 

Why isn't there a rule book for clearing your thoughts- like a step by step guide Or a life's hacks for dummies. 

Go with the flow! How do you make sure you don't drown on the way! How do you keep floating! How do you know where you are heading!

It's a maze when one has to keep trying to find the way out. Or is it just a temporary overcast and soon everything will get clear and bright. 

Lost! 

To do - wish list

For few days a lot is going on in my mind. Getting all kinds of ideas about things I would like to do. Things can give pleasure. I like doing creative work. I enjoy making things. I love creating. 

So i just thought let me list down some ...

1. Sew a dress for my daughter 

2. Sew a dress for myself 

3. Make a painting for own room

4. Crochet a scarf -> this is one thing I don't know at all. Have never done it. 

5. Hand paint a vase and some boxes.  Have done this in childhood. Would like to do it again. 

Don't know when I would do any of these. I lack motivation big time. I get all excited about doing things but loose interest even before starting it. These wishes have been in mind for quite sometime. Let's see how and when am i able to cross out any of these. 

Just say you care

Source : http://www.thesilverpen.com

Missing

Sometimes saying "miss you" is not enough to explain the real feeling. The words don't sound enough to convey  the depth of what you are actually experiencing. Nothing comes close to it. 

I wish there was some way to convey the emotions with the same strength as you feel them. 

Like - missing someone so much that it hurts one moment, makes you cry the other moment and then suddenly fills you up with gratitude for all the beautiful memories of that person. Experiencing all this and much more with intense depth in a short span of time. 

All this when sometimes the person is actually close by and/or in regular touch. Or Sometimes its also that you talk often and/or you even meet often yet the overwhelming feeling of missing them at a particular moment. 

Complex - isn't it? 

How do you explain this!!!!

So i will just leave it at -

I miss you! 

Hope you read this and understand the depth of it as well.