Last year this time i was unwell - in pain - physically and psychologically.
Right hand and arm were swollen up and in pain. Was getting difficult to do basic daily tasks. Headache had become a constant companion for months. Sleep deprivation only made it all worse. I was trapped in the vicious cycle and was on the verge of breaking down. I stopped talking to anyone. I would not take up calls from family and friends. I would cry at the drop of a pin or sometimes for no reason at all. I would scream, get angry, upset and restless at the smallest trigger.
My physical complaints(arm/hand) were known and visible at workplace. So at the advice of my doctor i was told to stop going to work immediately. So on Jan 15 last yr suddenly I took the break. For first two weeks i lied in bed day and night - reading & sleeping and only stepping out of bed for basic necessities. Then I started going for physiotherapy once a week for my physical complaints. During this phase i avoided any social gatherings at the pretext of being unwell. I would break down sitting anywhere. I would get restless for no reason. I kept myself aloof.
It was only after 4-5 weeks had passed that i started to feel lighter and better. And after being home for 6 weeks, i decided and insisted on going back to work. But at doctor's advice started with a few hours only (though his first advise was to stay home for few more weeks.) Starting with few hours and Then half days and gradually in 3 months time i went back to usual full time routine. It took a lot of efforts, immense amount of strength and huge changes in life style. Tough and dead-end is what it seemed at that time.
It seemed ...its all over.
Rest of the year was no easy and I had way more than my-handling-capacity of problems. I went through a never ending roller coaster ride. A plathora of emotions.
Yet a year later today i feel like a different person.
A lot changed. A lot happened. I am
Thankful to a lot of people. I am thankful for all the support i got from known and unknown. I am indebted for life to someone who doesn't even realise how my life has changed by every word said and every gesture shared, for every second of listening ear provided to me and for every tear shared. I am a new person because of you. I will never be able to thank you enough.
My physical problems are much lesser and arm and hand are in much better state now. Therapies continue. I am
more positive than ever and more determined too. If I can survive last year - I believe I can handle anything. I know life will still throw a lot of challenges my way but i also know - with little extra strength in those times i will be able to deal with them.
Thank you God for sending such souls in my life.
If ever there was proof of magic in my life, it can only be your presence my dear friend!