Apology- a dilemma!

In a recent conversation with someone i realized how the most genuine intentions can also work negative and against us. 

As a common human behavior, people start defending their actions as soon as someone else points out their mistakes. Most often there are counter arguments at least for a while. In an attempt to defend themselves they even say hurtful things they probably don’t realize. But then for some reason - for example - to avoid further unnecessary discussion or to make situation calmer or to avoid turning the conversation more hurtful or for any other reason- the one who started the conversation just apologizes. Now the intention seems perfect on the face of it. But if you think deeper, is it the right way? Aren’t we just feeding the other person’s defense mechanism and making him feel he was right in his behavior and reaction to the situation? Aren’t we just giving that person more confidence in behaving a certain way when we know it wasn’t right and might not be acceptable in many situations? And to top it all - aren’t we demeaning ourselves by letting the person go on with a certain belief about who was at fault or not? 

Moreover one person’s apology doesn’t mean the other person was not at fault at all. 

So An apology may not be the correct way afterall. What would be the right way? To go on and on? Or To apologize but stand on your point? 

I wonder!