Today I am going through quite mixed feelings... I want to remain quiet and not speak to anyone. i just don't feel like. Then on the other hand I am unable to find any reason for that. I am happy...without any special strong tension on mind. The dance from last night is still fresh in my mind and the feeling makes me smile everytime i think of it. I am trying to focus on work and wrap up some of it today (atleast thats the plan for the day) But yet something unknown to me is going on somewhere inside and not letting me feel good. Every few minutes i feel sad for no obvious explanation at all. I came in half hr late at work. Haven't spoken a single word for around 4 hrs now. Last word i said was BYE to my hubby when i left for work this morning. Strange mixed feelings.
It is weird how that "small-looking" area at the top of our body rules everything we do or feel. In case you are confused at what i am talking about - i am trying to refer to brain in my own style. We are such a slave to that "brain". Every action is ruled from there - the top most storey of the creation called body. Though; every now and then the tiny heart also tries to by-pass the judgements passed from there and take over the decision making role yet its not the boss. Heart keeps trying to give its own independent view about everything. It does succeed many times but then brain takes over quickly. The quest between heart and brain is going on ever since the body was created. And the fun part is this quest goes on in "every" single creation. And Brain always gets elected as the one who can have all the power.
I am also witnessing one such quest today. Brain says - focus on work, whats wrong..nothing is wrong around, everything seems to be fine, every related thing seems to be happy - so just concentrate, smile and work. But heart feels something else. Heart feels low. It says - its ok to be sad sometimes for no reason, its ok to not talk, its ok to embrace silence once in a while.
And I as a soul and a body am struggling for the heart and brain to reach a consensus.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Dance Baby Dance
I just had the most beautiful and happy hour in a long time. Guess what...
Prisha and I danced together for an haur on DAler Mehndi Punjabi numbers, old hindi remix songs and some more. It has been such great fun. We both laughed, danced, hugged, jumped and had a gala time. I would like to do this more often. Its been sooooo sooo wonderful a feeling.
Wish I could get more moments like this to experience such marvellous activities together.
Prisha and I danced together for an haur on DAler Mehndi Punjabi numbers, old hindi remix songs and some more. It has been such great fun. We both laughed, danced, hugged, jumped and had a gala time. I would like to do this more often. Its been sooooo sooo wonderful a feeling.
Wish I could get more moments like this to experience such marvellous activities together.
Trying... again...
Today i just felt i should start writing...again. So i am back here ...once more...with determination to pen down something every other day atleast. First few days might have boring and negative posts mostly full of rantings..but i want to keep penning down something. Readers - Please bear with me!!
Life has been on a rought road for quite sometime now. Job world is shaky, personal life planet is not getting any attention, people around are behaving different...etc etc etc. And - dont know why - but all this affects me a bit too much. I have this horrible habit of keeping everything inside and suffocating myself from inside while people involved and responsible for that rejoice and have all the fun.
It hits me hard when i dont like someone's behaviour or a particular action but am absolutely unable to say anything. Evereyone - intentionally or unintentionally - gets his/her things done and I am left wondering what the hell am i doing.
Work is getting sick with every passing moment. I don't enjoy it any more and to such an extent that i have a pile of pending issues to work on but I am just unable to do anything about it inspite of knowing very well that it can cost me my job. I hate to be in such helpless situations.
My state-of-mind curve keeps changing... its more of a wave than just a curve.
I am trying to deal with it and get on more stable path..but things just refuse to happen in my favor. Or it's just me being too pessimistic.
Whatever the case - I have to do something about it.
Life has been on a rought road for quite sometime now. Job world is shaky, personal life planet is not getting any attention, people around are behaving different...etc etc etc. And - dont know why - but all this affects me a bit too much. I have this horrible habit of keeping everything inside and suffocating myself from inside while people involved and responsible for that rejoice and have all the fun.
It hits me hard when i dont like someone's behaviour or a particular action but am absolutely unable to say anything. Evereyone - intentionally or unintentionally - gets his/her things done and I am left wondering what the hell am i doing.
Work is getting sick with every passing moment. I don't enjoy it any more and to such an extent that i have a pile of pending issues to work on but I am just unable to do anything about it inspite of knowing very well that it can cost me my job. I hate to be in such helpless situations.
My state-of-mind curve keeps changing... its more of a wave than just a curve.
I am trying to deal with it and get on more stable path..but things just refuse to happen in my favor. Or it's just me being too pessimistic.
Whatever the case - I have to do something about it.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
100 Truths about me :)
1. Last beverage: Tea
2. Last phone call: A colleague
3. Last text message: this morning to a friend asking which train she is taking :) :)
4. Last song you listened to: uhh...dont even remember..its been efw days
5. Last time you cried: day before
HAVE YOU EVER...
1. Dated someone twice: Nopes
2. Been cheated on? Don't think so
3. Kissed someone & regretted it? never
4. lost someone special? Yes
5. Been depressed? Oh Yes...
6. Been drunk and threw up? Never
LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
1.Pink
2.White
3.Red
4.Blue (Skyblue)
HAVE YOU:
1. Made new friends: Yes, Many
2. Fallen out of love: No
3. Laughed until you cried: Haha..Yes
4. Met someone who changed you: Don't know
5. Found out who your true friends were: Nopes..not till now..i take all my friends as true friends
6. Found out someone was talking about you: I so wish i could find out
7. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: No :-)
8. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: almost all
9. How many kids do you want to have: For now ONE is perfect
10. Do you have any pets: NOOO..
11. Do you want to change your name: No..Why would I?
12. What did you do for your last birthday: nm..nm..nm..Like every other day..nothing special.
13. What time did you wake up today: 5:30 AM, Left from home at 6:20 AM. Had to reach work at 8
14. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleepingggg....zzzzz....and checking in between if my baby has duvet over her or she has again slipped out and is lying over it :)
15. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Getting slimmer...I mean the same as Monika's ..just changed the words to make it look different ..hehehehe
16. Last time you saw your father: Dec 5
17. What one thing d'you wish you could change about your life: The work I do. My Job.
19. Most visited webpage: iGOOGLE
PERSONAL
1. What's your name:Bharti
2. Nicknames: Gudia, gudde, Jana, Moto...
3. Zodiac sign: Aquarius
5. Male or female or transgendered: hahah...umm....Need to get tested ...lol... Absolutely Female
6. Elementary: NMS
7. School: BSF
8. Colleges: GVM GC
10. Hair color: Dark Brown
11. Long or short: Shoulder length
16. Height: 5' ... smaaallll... :(
17. Do you have a crush on someone? No
18. Ever been in love? Yes..
19. Piercings? Just one in each ear. I can't think of getting more.
20. Tattoos? Nopes...And Never
21. Righty or lefty: Righty
FIRSTS :
22. First surgery: May 2005
23. First piercing: back when i was still too young to remember
24. First best friends: class 7th friend
26. First sport you loved: does hide and seek count ;-)
27. First pet: i made a kid bird pet for 2 days when its mom took her away was heart broken... thats what i remember but mom tells me i used to bring something or the other home all the time
28. First vacation: the one i remember goa with parents and then first independent with friends goa too :)
29. First concert: some shool stuff, dance i think
30. First crush: school president :)
RIGHT NOW:
49. Eating: Apricot
50. Drinkin: Water
52. I'm about to: finish this long questionnaire....hopefully...am half way now :)
53. Listening to: Key strokes from people around typing.
55. Waiting for: the weekend ..my bro is coming over from Bangalore for vacation...
YOUR FUTURE :
58. Want kids? i have one very precious baby
59. Want to get married? I am - already. One time is Enough
60. Careers in mind? Painting/Digital designing
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
68. Lips or eyes: Eyes.
69. Hugs or kisses: Hugs..anytime
70. Shorter or taller: Tall
71. Older or Younger: Doesn't matter
72. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic...though i would also prefer spontaneously romantic
73. Nice stomach or nice arms: Both...
74. Sensitive or loud: : Sensitive
75. Hook-up or relationship: Relatioship...
76. Trouble maker or hesitant: haha...a Mix
HAVE YOU EVER :
78. Kissed a stranger: Nooo...
80. Lost glasses/contacts: Oh Yes...many times
81. Sex on first date: Not at all..
82. Broken someone's heart: May be...no clue
83. Had your own heart broken: nah..
84. Been arrested: Nopes
86. Turned someone down: Yes..few
87. Cried when someone died: Oh Yess...
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? hein??? I like my girl friends... or this ques has some hidden meaning?? :)
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself: Somewhat
90. Miracles: YES
91. Love at first sight: Oh Yes...Absolutely
92. Heaven:Yes...
93. Santa Clause: yes...
95. Kiss on the first date? No
96. Angels: Yessss..
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes yes yes
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? Should I reveal that??? No
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? Yess...
===========================
Please pick it up if you like it...its' quite interesting.
2. Last phone call: A colleague
3. Last text message: this morning to a friend asking which train she is taking :) :)
4. Last song you listened to: uhh...dont even remember..its been efw days
5. Last time you cried: day before
HAVE YOU EVER...
1. Dated someone twice: Nopes
2. Been cheated on? Don't think so
3. Kissed someone & regretted it? never
4. lost someone special? Yes
5. Been depressed? Oh Yes...
6. Been drunk and threw up? Never
LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
1.Pink
2.White
3.Red
4.Blue (Skyblue)
HAVE YOU:
1. Made new friends: Yes, Many
2. Fallen out of love: No
3. Laughed until you cried: Haha..Yes
4. Met someone who changed you: Don't know
5. Found out who your true friends were: Nopes..not till now..i take all my friends as true friends
6. Found out someone was talking about you: I so wish i could find out
7. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: No :-)
8. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: almost all
9. How many kids do you want to have: For now ONE is perfect
10. Do you have any pets: NOOO..
11. Do you want to change your name: No..Why would I?
12. What did you do for your last birthday: nm..nm..nm..Like every other day..nothing special.
13. What time did you wake up today: 5:30 AM, Left from home at 6:20 AM. Had to reach work at 8
14. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleepingggg....zzzzz....and checking in between if my baby has duvet over her or she has again slipped out and is lying over it :)
15. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Getting slimmer...I mean the same as Monika's ..just changed the words to make it look different ..hehehehe
16. Last time you saw your father: Dec 5
17. What one thing d'you wish you could change about your life: The work I do. My Job.
19. Most visited webpage: iGOOGLE
PERSONAL
1. What's your name:Bharti
2. Nicknames: Gudia, gudde, Jana, Moto...
3. Zodiac sign: Aquarius
5. Male or female or transgendered: hahah...umm....Need to get tested ...lol... Absolutely Female
6. Elementary: NMS
7. School: BSF
8. Colleges: GVM GC
10. Hair color: Dark Brown
11. Long or short: Shoulder length
16. Height: 5' ... smaaallll... :(
17. Do you have a crush on someone? No
18. Ever been in love? Yes..
19. Piercings? Just one in each ear. I can't think of getting more.
20. Tattoos? Nopes...And Never
21. Righty or lefty: Righty
FIRSTS :
22. First surgery: May 2005
23. First piercing: back when i was still too young to remember
24. First best friends: class 7th friend
26. First sport you loved: does hide and seek count ;-)
27. First pet: i made a kid bird pet for 2 days when its mom took her away was heart broken... thats what i remember but mom tells me i used to bring something or the other home all the time
28. First vacation: the one i remember goa with parents and then first independent with friends goa too :)
29. First concert: some shool stuff, dance i think
30. First crush: school president :)
RIGHT NOW:
49. Eating: Apricot
50. Drinkin: Water
52. I'm about to: finish this long questionnaire....hopefully...am half way now :)
53. Listening to: Key strokes from people around typing.
55. Waiting for: the weekend ..my bro is coming over from Bangalore for vacation...
YOUR FUTURE :
58. Want kids? i have one very precious baby
59. Want to get married? I am - already. One time is Enough
60. Careers in mind? Painting/Digital designing
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
68. Lips or eyes: Eyes.
69. Hugs or kisses: Hugs..anytime
70. Shorter or taller: Tall
71. Older or Younger: Doesn't matter
72. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic...though i would also prefer spontaneously romantic
73. Nice stomach or nice arms: Both...
74. Sensitive or loud: : Sensitive
75. Hook-up or relationship: Relatioship...
76. Trouble maker or hesitant: haha...a Mix
HAVE YOU EVER :
78. Kissed a stranger: Nooo...
80. Lost glasses/contacts: Oh Yes...many times
81. Sex on first date: Not at all..
82. Broken someone's heart: May be...no clue
83. Had your own heart broken: nah..
84. Been arrested: Nopes
86. Turned someone down: Yes..few
87. Cried when someone died: Oh Yess...
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? hein??? I like my girl friends... or this ques has some hidden meaning?? :)
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself: Somewhat
90. Miracles: YES
91. Love at first sight: Oh Yes...Absolutely
92. Heaven:Yes...
93. Santa Clause: yes...
95. Kiss on the first date? No
96. Angels: Yessss..
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes yes yes
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? Should I reveal that??? No
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? Yess...
===========================
Please pick it up if you like it...its' quite interesting.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Holi aayi re..
Holi aayi re holi...
and like every festival it brings along beautiful memories from childhood...
Nostalgia is on its height today!!
How we would try to get up early and start filling up water balloons, prepare packs of different colors which we can carry along on our round of the complex where we were living. We would go to each house, cover them with all sorts of colors and drag them out to join us for next target - the next neighbour. And meanwhile grabbing mouthwatering sweets - gujiyan... at every other house. We being kids would be running here and there..making lots noises, trying to save ourselves from balloons seen flying in different directions. On same occassion while someone would be hiding behind the corner of the wall...a splash would be there on his head..... hahah...yes a bucket full of colored or plain water from someone's balcony :) Putting loads of color in someone's hair was most annoying yet great fun. We would go on completely smudged in colors and water.... thankfully no hard stuff like greese etc was ever used there. By afternoon when everyone would be too tired ot rather would have not an inch uncovered with color, we woudl go home and take a shower. Mom would have kept buckets full of warm water ready for us to start the long scrubbing and cleaning process. Inspite of all the thorough cleaning, there would still be traces of some pink color left in ears and finger nails - which would take few days to go away.
Then some lovely lunch and more sweets. And after that a loooong peaceful afternoon sleep.
Where is all that fun now? Friends and family are far away from sharing those real happy moments of life. Now just an email or a message from some dear one gives enough pleasure. Thats what we unconsciously wait for. This is the way we share and celebrate these beautiful festivals. The real charm has vanished. The days of preparation is not required any more. We just need a reminder from our calendar that its "once-big-day" festival today. Now we only have memories. Memories - which would also fade away with time.
Added:
A collegue of mine just put a beautiful bunch of flowers on my desk. He got it as its his bday today but he is too shy to have them there on his desk. HAHAHA... so he gave them to me. And i am happy to see such beautiful white roses and purple fill ups. I take the flowers as holi colors for me. :)
A very Happy Holi to all of you. May your lives be full of beautiful colors!!
and like every festival it brings along beautiful memories from childhood...
Nostalgia is on its height today!!
How we would try to get up early and start filling up water balloons, prepare packs of different colors which we can carry along on our round of the complex where we were living. We would go to each house, cover them with all sorts of colors and drag them out to join us for next target - the next neighbour. And meanwhile grabbing mouthwatering sweets - gujiyan... at every other house. We being kids would be running here and there..making lots noises, trying to save ourselves from balloons seen flying in different directions. On same occassion while someone would be hiding behind the corner of the wall...a splash would be there on his head..... hahah...yes a bucket full of colored or plain water from someone's balcony :) Putting loads of color in someone's hair was most annoying yet great fun. We would go on completely smudged in colors and water.... thankfully no hard stuff like greese etc was ever used there. By afternoon when everyone would be too tired ot rather would have not an inch uncovered with color, we woudl go home and take a shower. Mom would have kept buckets full of warm water ready for us to start the long scrubbing and cleaning process. Inspite of all the thorough cleaning, there would still be traces of some pink color left in ears and finger nails - which would take few days to go away.
Then some lovely lunch and more sweets. And after that a loooong peaceful afternoon sleep.
Where is all that fun now? Friends and family are far away from sharing those real happy moments of life. Now just an email or a message from some dear one gives enough pleasure. Thats what we unconsciously wait for. This is the way we share and celebrate these beautiful festivals. The real charm has vanished. The days of preparation is not required any more. We just need a reminder from our calendar that its "once-big-day" festival today. Now we only have memories. Memories - which would also fade away with time.
Added:
A collegue of mine just put a beautiful bunch of flowers on my desk. He got it as its his bday today but he is too shy to have them there on his desk. HAHAHA... so he gave them to me. And i am happy to see such beautiful white roses and purple fill ups. I take the flowers as holi colors for me. :)
A very Happy Holi to all of you. May your lives be full of beautiful colors!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Ye bata de mujhe zindagi
Seems like this blog is mainly a repository of some of my favorite lyrics.
Here is another one...i love this one too.
-----------------------------------------------------------
ye bata de mujhe zindagi
pyar ki raah ke humasafar, kis tarah ban gaye ajanabi
ye bata de mujhe jindagi
phool kyon saare murjha gaye, kis liye bujh gayi roshani
kal jo bahon mein thi , aur nigahon mein thi
ab woh garmi kahan kho gayi
na woh andaaz hai naa woh aawaz hai
ab wo narmee kahan kho gayi
bewafa tum nahi , bewafa hum nahi
fir woh jazbaat kyon so gaye..
pyar tum ko bhi hai, pyar hum ko bhi hai
faasle fir yeh kyon ho gaye
Yeh bata de mujhe zindagi....
Here is another one...i love this one too.
-----------------------------------------------------------
ye bata de mujhe zindagi
pyar ki raah ke humasafar, kis tarah ban gaye ajanabi
ye bata de mujhe jindagi
phool kyon saare murjha gaye, kis liye bujh gayi roshani
kal jo bahon mein thi , aur nigahon mein thi
ab woh garmi kahan kho gayi
na woh andaaz hai naa woh aawaz hai
ab wo narmee kahan kho gayi
bewafa tum nahi , bewafa hum nahi
fir woh jazbaat kyon so gaye..
pyar tum ko bhi hai, pyar hum ko bhi hai
faasle fir yeh kyon ho gaye
Yeh bata de mujhe zindagi....
Waqt nahin...
Read it somwhere on internbet..had to share it!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Har Khushi Hai Logon Ke Daman Mein,
Par Ek Hansi Ke Liye Waqt Nahi.
Din Raat Daudti Duniya Mein,
Zindagi Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
Maa Ki Loree Ka Ehsaas To Hai,
Par Maa Ko Maa Kehne Ka Waqt Nahi.
Saare Rishton Ko To Hum Maar Chuke,
Ab Unhe Dafnane Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Saare Naam Mobile Mein Hain,
Par Dosti Ke Lye Waqt Nahi.
Gairon Ki Kya Baat Karen,
Jab Apno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
Aankhon Me Hai Neend Badee,
Par Sone Ka Waqt Nahi.
Dil Hai Ghamon Se Bhara Hua,
Par Rone Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Paison Ki Daud Me Aise Daude,
Ki Thakne Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Paraye Ehsason Ki Kya Kadr Karein,
Jab Apane Sapno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
Tu Hi Bata E Zindagi,
Iss Zindagi Ka Kya Hoga,
Ki Har Pal Marne Walon Ko,
Jeene Ke Liye Bhi Waqt Nahi
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Har Khushi Hai Logon Ke Daman Mein,
Par Ek Hansi Ke Liye Waqt Nahi.
Din Raat Daudti Duniya Mein,
Zindagi Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
Maa Ki Loree Ka Ehsaas To Hai,
Par Maa Ko Maa Kehne Ka Waqt Nahi.
Saare Rishton Ko To Hum Maar Chuke,
Ab Unhe Dafnane Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Saare Naam Mobile Mein Hain,
Par Dosti Ke Lye Waqt Nahi.
Gairon Ki Kya Baat Karen,
Jab Apno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
Aankhon Me Hai Neend Badee,
Par Sone Ka Waqt Nahi.
Dil Hai Ghamon Se Bhara Hua,
Par Rone Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Paison Ki Daud Me Aise Daude,
Ki Thakne Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Paraye Ehsason Ki Kya Kadr Karein,
Jab Apane Sapno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
Tu Hi Bata E Zindagi,
Iss Zindagi Ka Kya Hoga,
Ki Har Pal Marne Walon Ko,
Jeene Ke Liye Bhi Waqt Nahi
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)