Journey goes on...

Train went on…
Distances covered…
Destinations reached…
People came
People left
I kept waiting for my destination
And then I heard the announcement
“This is the final destination, please get down here.”

But my destination was not there

I got down and took another train
Train went on…
Distances covered…
Destinations reached…
And I kept moving on along with it
In search of
A destination.
And the journey is still going on…

Please do not copy. Ask before using it.

Thoughts

Zindagi mein itna kuch hoga

Socha na tha

Sochti kaise

Tab zindagi hee na thi

Pal, din, mahine, saal karke

Zindagi chalti gayi

Aansoon, khushi aur kabhi khushi ke aansoon

Maine sochna shuru kiya

Tab tak zindagi aur aage nikal gayi.

----------------------------------------------

Here is the translation - which i loved even more than the hindi version...

Life will have so much

I never knew

How would I have known

I didn’t have life then

Moment, day, month, year

Life went on and on

Tears, happiness and tears of happiness

I started wondering

And life moved on by then

Please do not copy. Ask before using it.

Trying a come-back :)

Its been rteally long since i wrote anything anywhere except for the code i have to write every single day.

So i thought let me atleast make a come back post to begin with and announce my return to blogosphere :)

No doubt its spring which induced in me the feeling to do more than just daily routine work. Isn't it amazing how much weather affects our mood. It has been beautiful and sunny for few days now and its so uplifting for the soul. Though i just cannot call it warm as of now. Its pretty windy and cold. Temperatures are moving around lowest double digits. But am not complaining at all - as long asi t's sunny and beautiful to look at - i am loving it :)
Here is as best as i could describe it :)

Colors all around
flowers that surround
sun over the head
winds that i dread

yet so serene
peaceful and clean
so refreshing for soul
filling some gap some hole

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff!!

A friend of mine sent this link to me yesterday and I felt I must share it further. A war has been going on in my mind for sometime now - The war between home and work. And I am at loss thinking how to prioritise. I feel guilty from both sides. So many times I feel such a loser for not being able to handle even one side well. But then all these are phases and the thought that most working moms go through this - adds to my comfort. So I am not the only one. I am not the only confused mom. I am not the only mom who is living with this ongoing struggle.

Well - the following article helped me. It gave me a feeling of comfort. It convinced me that I should choose what matters to me the most. I should be the one to decide not the surroundings. I should do as I wish to and not bother about the world. Decide on what matters to me the most. Life is not an Emergency Room. I should learn to differentiate between Urgent things, Important Things and Urgent-Important things.

It's a small article but left an impact in it's own way - atleast a lot on me.

Read on ...

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff!

Article courtesy - http://www.extensor.co.uk

Off Load

OK another one of world famous problems...which i guess each of us esp women have atleast for sometime.

Unfortunately Retail Therapy does not help with this one. Infact the chances are opposite here. Retail therapy can make it worse if followed too much for extended hours.

I have been struggling with this one for around 2 years now. The intensity is low and high - now and then. And these days the intensity is on higher side - owing to long continuous working hours and then hours of travelling back and forth home-office. There is one more high impact reason for high intensity these days.

There was a friend of mine here and we used to sit very near to each othere here in office. She also being indian - we would always talk in hindi (You might think - so what? well - It's of special mention because people around speak either Dutch or English and noone else besides us knows hindi ) We would keep on talking while working....we would go out together for lunches or shopping. There being no other female in our team and no other indian in our group - we spent lot of time together. (ok ok that does not mean we never mingled with anyone else) Also we both had to travel same direction, to same last station and at same time. So - quite simple - we were together more than 10 hours a day. But 2 months back she got married and moved to another country to join her husband.

Ok now back to actual story ( oh no how can I call such a serious situation just a story : ) As one can imagine, I don't have anyone else to talk (as in hindi and that too gossip and things just about anything - u know how girls talk) Also i dont go out as often as I used to. SO as a result I am sitting right here on my chair for hours. I come to office and sit here and start working. Only times i get up is to fetch tea/coffee or other obvious reason I am sure I don't need to mention. Besides that; work here, lunch here, any phone calls here. Once in a week or 10 days I go out like this one two days back.

Hmm..that's a story stretched too far now ...
I am not going to keep the secret anymore. Here it is... BACKACHES

All this has resulted in severe backache - shoulder aches and even chest pains. All because of not enough movements. I had been having backaches ever since my pregnancy. Apparently this is also one of the hidden bonuses you get when you are in IT industry that too a developer. Till it was only backache I was somehow dealing with it. But now for around 2 months, i had been having severe pain in my chest too. Obviously million people - million opinions made me believe it can be because of Acidity. But as it continued - i kept a close vigil and decided against that. No it was not acidity. It was something else. Somedays it would be so severe that I would not even be able to bend 10 degrees. I would not be able to lie down. Few times I would not even be able to breathe well. So a visit to the GP landed me up in physiotherapy clinic. I wasn't too excited about it as i had been to that for around 2 months last year - all in vain. Yet i decided to give it a try. Now as I live far away from office, i decided to look for some physiotherapist near office only so i can go during lunchtime or so and don't have to take days off. ANd God - i was damn lucky. Not only did i find the clinic just 10 minutes walking distance from office- also I found a genious physiotherapist. My chest pain went away right after first session of 15 minutes. Second visit released loads of tension from shoulder and neck part.

It actually feels like some heavy load is off my back. Only those who have suffered from backpain can understand how it is to feel day without any sort of backpain.

So far I have attended only two sessions and I am sure 3-4 more and I would not remember any backpains. It's amazing how some twists and turns he did on my body took away all the stress. And the manipulations ( as they call it) by pressing some points here and there can make the movements so much more easy.

So anyone suffering from backaches or anything of that sort - please try Physiotherapy, Chiropractice or Manual therapy or a combination if you can find out.

For today - I am really thankful and glad. A Huge load is off my back!!

Trauma of First Degree!!

After my retail therapy yesterday - i was all excited and also as it was slightly cold I decided to wear my new jacket on my way back home . Ok so i took out tags from all the clothes i had bought, put them in one smaller bag and wore the new jacket and set out for bus stop. I met a collague in the elevator - we talked and walked in our own directions after byes and good evening wishes. Little did i knew at that time how the coming evening was going to be. I walked to the bus stop, stood there waiting for the bus. Secretely i was trying to look at my reflection in the glass sides of the bus stop to see how i was looking in my new jacket and as i turned........

The guy standing there asked me a question - "Is your jacket new?" My heart skipped few beats - i was confused and thinking is it so nice and looking so new? Or Did he see me admiring it in the reflection in the glass sides? Or is there something wrong with it? Inspite of all these million questions popping up in my mind - i replied in most calm and composed way - " Yes - it is."

And guess what - He replied - " There is a price tag hanging there - you forgot to take it off"

OH MY GOD !! I wished I could vanish somehow. I am sure i would have turned red in embarrassment. Not only had it a tag hanging but it also revealed that i bought it in sale at a very low price. Regaining my composure and pulling out the tag instantly I replied in a split second - "Oh - Thank you. I was feeling cold, so I just bought it." (Ahh..that sounded like a relief to me and convincing reply to him) So he just said "Oh - I see " and turned away.

Oh I could not stand there. I felt glances of everyone around fixed on me. But I maintained my looks of not even giving a damn thought about it. Inside me were more doubts and restlessness growing up. I started to feel there were more tags hanging and I am still standing with them on. I wished I could take off the jacket and check it thoroughly. But my external gestures were so convincing about me not bothering about it at all that I felt weird taking off the jacket and checking it for more tags.

And as if I hadn't had enough - the bus was late. I had to stand and pretend absolutely normal for next 10 minutes(believe me it felt like 10 hours). But when the bus came, i took it and guess what - Got down at the next stop. I waited for that bus to go away. Took out my jacket and scrutinized it like it might have hidden jewels inside hidden pockets. Only after 10 minutes of detailed study - i was convinced and put it back.

Because of this trauma of hanging tags - i not only missed my next bus but train too. So it took me long time to reach back home.

And obviously I was really traumatised. This morning when i left home. I got those thoughts back- what if what I am wearing today also has some tag hanging.I kept looking side to side if I could see something. I tried to look at my reflection in the glasses on the metro stop and train window. Every look and stare from anyone around made me think there was some tag hanging somewhere on me.

It's only when i reached office- looked on all sides in the big mirror in the ladies room, I felt relieved.

I hope the trauma is over!!

Therapy - Just like that!

A Retail Therapy as Monika puts it is indeed the best therapy ever :) All these countless therapists should just remember one standard therapy for all ailments.

This therapy helps boost your morale when you are feeling low, it even cheers you up when you are sad, it motivates when you are depressed, it relaxes you when you are stressed and it even balances your state of mind when you are over - excited about something - be it some success, some achievement or anything like that. So basically this therapy befits every state of mind.

Today was one such day for me. I had been feeling stressed out for few days now. But since yesterday i am feeling elated for no reason in particular. I listened to music all through my way home yesterday evening. I went home and even before I could think of dinner - i danced with my little girl. I sounded all chirpy and joyful. I could feel it myself too. But I could not make out the reason and i didn't bother either. I finished some long pending household work like drying 2 lots of wash lying there for 2 days, altering few of my clothes by hand sewing, clearing up mess in the bedroom, some face care, potty training for Prisha. I spent some good time with my dolly. I even managed to watch some TV and also sleep on time. All these things on the same evening has been sounding impossible to me till now. (Imagine all this done between 7:30 and 11 PM and this includes preparing dinner and having it too)

Now the simple doubt arising can be - how does retail therapy fit in here? ( As i didn't mention any done yesterday)

I was happy for no reason yesterday and it continued today. So out of that continued joy and happiness and excitement I went out at lunch time and just popped into a store to look if there was something new. Unconsciously I knew I am going there to come out with something new.

And obviously no prizes for any guesses now - I did come out with huge bag full :) WOW - what a feeling I had!! I was walking back to office all content with my new possessions - smiling wide and lost in my own thoughts ( I am sure people on the way must have declared me some kind of nut)

I came back and felt all energetic to start my work full gear. Inbetween I glanced inside the bags few times - smiled and got back to work. And out of this joy - I opened notepad and started writing this post ( Now that might not be good result of the therapy - as now my work is again sidelined) Yet its good because finally there would be some action on my blog.

So Ladies and Gentlemen - Go ahead - Indulge in some Retail Therapy today - Just Like that !!