Feeling alone or is it loneliness...i don't know.
But I think I know some of the reasons.
The city where i live and the city where i work are miles apart. It takes me 1 hr 45 minutes one way with public transport. (Please note this is not a rant post for that reason)
Ok - So I have been travelling like this for almost 6 years now. Metro, Train, Bus....Thats my routine.
And over all these years I have met many people on my daily route.
People who lived in the neighbourhood but we had never seen each other before. We became friends. We just travelled same direction at same time in metro. After that our directions changed.
People who worked in the same city as me. We travelled together in train.
People who worked in the same building as mine but different company. We travelled together in train and bus.
People who were my colleagues. We never knew we were in the same company until we came across each other in some company meet. We worked in different departments and our office was on different floors.
People who were my colleagues and we worked in same departments and sat on same floor. We travelled together in train/bus. Two of them are my closest friends now.
People who took the train from the same station as I do but for different destinations. And did I tell you we are friends for life now. First few times after we started meeting outside trains and stations, we introduced ourselves as train friends.
Once again people who travelled same direction as me in bus - our office buildings being next to each other. And we became very good friends.
People who travelled with me in the same train and have kids same age as mine. Our kids are friends now - closer than we are :)
People whom I had met before in common friends' gatherings and then started travelling together too in the same direction in train.
Inspite of so many people I met and had enough company all through my journey - I am loosing out on it now.
2 of my nice neighbours/friends in metro have stopped taking the metro. One started driving to work and another changed job.
And slowly over a span of 3 years...my friends in the train also started leaving. SOme moved closer to work so they dont travel by train anymore. Some others changed jobs. SOme relocated to another country. And for one - their company moved to another city to another bigger building. All those who were colleagues and fellow travellers have changed jobs. (May be it's a sign i need a change too)
I always always sit in the same compartment in the train for last 5 yrs. Not the same seat though - which is not possible for obvious reasons.
So today - when i was sitting in my usual spot without anyone to talk to and I realised I have none of those left to accompany me on my almost 4 hr journey everyday. No more exchanging messages in the morning about who is taking which train. No more looking out of the window to wait for someone. No more sharing the urge to take a nap in the early morning train. No more fashion-police like comments on people sitting around (and that was with an Indian friend - we would talk in hindi and laugh between ourselves without the person sitting next to us having a single clue thats its about him :) :) THough we always dreaded tha day someone would reply back in hindi.) No more exchanging sms about person sitting next to us and giggling away to glory. No more sharing tips on how to handle that boss or in some cases kids.
Even though I have made some very good friends Its still not the same as meeting everyday.
Sitting in that metro or train or bus...I am surrounded by people but I still feel alone.
But I think I know some of the reasons.
The city where i live and the city where i work are miles apart. It takes me 1 hr 45 minutes one way with public transport. (Please note this is not a rant post for that reason)
Ok - So I have been travelling like this for almost 6 years now. Metro, Train, Bus....Thats my routine.
And over all these years I have met many people on my daily route.
People who lived in the neighbourhood but we had never seen each other before. We became friends. We just travelled same direction at same time in metro. After that our directions changed.
People who worked in the same city as me. We travelled together in train.
People who worked in the same building as mine but different company. We travelled together in train and bus.
People who were my colleagues. We never knew we were in the same company until we came across each other in some company meet. We worked in different departments and our office was on different floors.
People who were my colleagues and we worked in same departments and sat on same floor. We travelled together in train/bus. Two of them are my closest friends now.
People who took the train from the same station as I do but for different destinations. And did I tell you we are friends for life now. First few times after we started meeting outside trains and stations, we introduced ourselves as train friends.
Once again people who travelled same direction as me in bus - our office buildings being next to each other. And we became very good friends.
People who travelled with me in the same train and have kids same age as mine. Our kids are friends now - closer than we are :)
People whom I had met before in common friends' gatherings and then started travelling together too in the same direction in train.
Inspite of so many people I met and had enough company all through my journey - I am loosing out on it now.
2 of my nice neighbours/friends in metro have stopped taking the metro. One started driving to work and another changed job.
And slowly over a span of 3 years...my friends in the train also started leaving. SOme moved closer to work so they dont travel by train anymore. Some others changed jobs. SOme relocated to another country. And for one - their company moved to another city to another bigger building. All those who were colleagues and fellow travellers have changed jobs. (May be it's a sign i need a change too)
I always always sit in the same compartment in the train for last 5 yrs. Not the same seat though - which is not possible for obvious reasons.
So today - when i was sitting in my usual spot without anyone to talk to and I realised I have none of those left to accompany me on my almost 4 hr journey everyday. No more exchanging messages in the morning about who is taking which train. No more looking out of the window to wait for someone. No more sharing the urge to take a nap in the early morning train. No more fashion-police like comments on people sitting around (and that was with an Indian friend - we would talk in hindi and laugh between ourselves without the person sitting next to us having a single clue thats its about him :) :) THough we always dreaded tha day someone would reply back in hindi.) No more exchanging sms about person sitting next to us and giggling away to glory. No more sharing tips on how to handle that boss or in some cases kids.
Even though I have made some very good friends Its still not the same as meeting everyday.
Sitting in that metro or train or bus...I am surrounded by people but I still feel alone.
..u are honored to have us, and we are delighted to read ur posts....:)
ReplyDeleteDont wry, either u will make new friends, or soon u wud also have chnaged job, and possibly be using a new mode of transport..:) cheer up...:)
I know what u mean, hugs babe... traveling is such an important part of life and one tends to make some unspoken friends
ReplyDelete@forgottogrowup : Thanks a lot! I would prefer the job change option to happen for me too :)
ReplyDeleteAND Yes... WELCOME here :)
@Monika : Yes dear..Thanks. Perhaps soon I will have new ones! But I am glad I made some good friends there...and we meet often now.
ReplyDeleteI so understand what you mean ! Its horrible to be alone ! I hope you meet some interesting people soon - or better get a new job and hence a new set of colleagues and travel mates :)
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the song - kehne ko to hum bheed mein chalte hain, phir bhi is dil mein tanhayin si basti hain !
@Ruchira : Thanks a lot. And those lines are sooo good. Listening to it now.
ReplyDelete